If you're late with your mortgage payments, have no fear. American Express's mortgage payment option* is here for the low entry fee of $395.00!
Now, just don't be late with your credit card payment there, chief!
*Use of American Express credit card to meet monthly mortgage payments and prevent foreclosure may cause diarrhea, gastrointestinal cramps, headaches, sleeplessness, difficulty sleeping, difficulty waking up, delusional behavior, mild to severe mood swings, obsessive-compulsive behavior, grinding teeth, swearing, public outburts, lack of attention, snoring, erectile dysfunction, tooth sensitivity and swollen glands. Contact a physician and financial advisor before using American Express. Use only as directed.